high-bar baking

I’ve always admired the trait of not caring. Being complete in your own person and not giving two damns what other people think. I’m not there. But sometimes I see glimmers. 

This often manifests as a well-timed “No.” Refusing to do things that you don’t want to do, regardless of what anyone else thinks. So many things in life don’t matter. It’s such a skill to learn to treat them that way. 

A couple weeks ago, work hosted its summer engineering picnic. They book a pavilion at some park, grill hamburgers, people bring chips, and we stand around awkwardly as only engineers know how to do. I expected that I would be expected at such an event. Have to keep up my reputation, et cetera. 

I baked these Chocolate Sugar cookies; always a classic. I planned to arrive late — a concept I struggle with — and leave after making a respectable appearance. Then I drive to the park. 

I can see the pavilion from the parking lot. There are approximately seven middle-aged men there. I recognize not a soul. They are still in the process of moving food from cars and such, even though I am half an hour late. 

I didn’t even get out of the car. I didn’t want to be there, and you couldn’t make me stay. This is my life, and that was a hard nope. 

Screw what anyone else thinks.